This week I met with grief again, to be fair in recent times it feels like it's never left, always lingering, always on the side ready to show me something new.
Yet I also can acknowledge that for a long time I ignored grief, let it pass, and not give it space so maybe now that I'm meeting it, that why it's engagement feels huge.
It's a wave of highs and lows that often makes me question am I actually okay? In those moments I have to still myself and remember that by allowing to sit with and feel it I am giving myself opportunities for progress.
Not measured progress and something that can really be given a check list but rather a place to say I'm leaning into this journey in all the good and bad ways giving it patience knowing that with healing a specific time frame cannot be set .
The more I delve into my own thoughts and journey through the parts of my life I've abandoned for so long, I come to realise that my grief though heavy at times is integral for me to authentically feel.
For me to allow every feeling to have its time, for all of it to be seen and heard. I still feel like I'm in the thick in it but I question if this just the ongoing journey of life as we lean into the desire to heal.
So I met with grief again recently, and I chose to not hold back. I chose that it deserved its time and so in that moment I decided it deserved its time, so I gave my self permission for a grief day.
I cried, I moved my body, I saw fresh air and just leaned into the slowness of the day, knowing that to honour it sincerely I had to give myself the kindness and patience. It didn't magically disappear after or make everything ok, but i felt at peace knowing I honoured myself and grief by creating an intentional space.
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